Sunday, October 14, 2012

First post, first thought that comes into my head

I haven't figured this out yet and my granddaughter's over a year old.  Life gets crazy sometimes!  You wonder where it all goes..... one minute you're 20 and the next, you're welcoming your first grandchild.

My life has been so full that sometimes it's a blur.  Then whoomp... there it is, a solid memory running through my head just like it's a full reel of a Spielberg production.  I love reliving those memories.

Lately, I've been seeing a lot of reruns of my children as babies.  Ariadne, the world's most precious and beautiful granddaughter, will do something and remind me so much of her mama or her uncle, and just like the Pevensie children as they stepped through the wardrobe, I'm transformed to another time and another place.

The first time Ariadne wrapped her arms around my neck in a tight hug, time stood still.  As she snuggled deeper in my shoulder, I remembered a time, seemed like yesterday, when her mama did the same thing.
I would stand in her room, holding her tight, cooing soft lullabies, stroking her back as she stroked my arm, swaying and shuffling across the floor, wishing the moment would never end.  The scent of fresh clean baby is the sweetest scent ever known, and it's amazing how it's not changed over 30 years. I bury my face into the sweetest, softest neck and breath.

After a few minutes of bliss, the moment shifts and life goes on.  Like her mama, Ariadne loves her bed and sleep is to be done in bed.  She lets you know that time has come; she lifts her head and points to bed, offers her lips for a goodnight kiss and signs sleep.  She lies down, pulls her knees up into her tummy, and spreads her arms to pull in her three nighttime cuddlies, Fly, Bee and Lambie.  I pat the little bottom that sticks up in the air, tell her I love her and leave, looking back and wanting nothing more than to sit by her bed and watch her sleep.  Like a watched pot never boiling, perhaps if I watch her sleep, time will slow her growing.

It's almost a shock to my system when I close her door and her mama is standing there asking if she went down okay.  I'm pulled back to today, looking into the face of my angel all grown up.  My practical, beautiful girl would laugh if she knew how often I have to hold back tears at those moments.  I adore the woman she has become, but did it have to happen so fast!


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